I'm not a drunk. I am by nature a loud friendly person.
There can't be good living if there isn't good drinking.
A penny for your thoughts. A dollar if you flash me.
I promise to be a good boy, if you promise to be a bad girl.
Beauty is only a light switch away.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
They found blood in my alcohol stream!
I see drunk people.
Blink if you're horny.
I'm immature, unorganized, lazy and loud. But I'm fun.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can dance.
I'm drunk. What's your excuse?
I wasn't flirting. I was just being friendly.
Remember my name. You'll be screaming it later.
The more I drink the better you look.
I no function beer well without.
Drink, puke, drink, puke. It's been a busy week.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR.
24 hours in a day, 24 cans of beer in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
Do Not Disturb. Blood alcohol experiment in progress.
Life is short. Drink faster.
I don't have a drinking problem. I can drink plenty.
The only way to get rid of temptation is to give into it.
Say no to drugs. You'll have more money for booze.
Beer. Helping the ugly guys get laid since 1823.
I hope you're as hot when I'm sober.
Will beg for sex.
Does this condom make me look fat?
If it's got tires or testicles it's going to be trouble.
You can't drink all dday if you don't start first thing in the morning.
Beer. Helping white people dance since 1865.
Tequila. Have you hugged your toilet today?
Life is short. Break some rules.
Instant @$$hole...Just add alcohol.
Rehab is for quitters.
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
I'm not an honor student but I have a nice @$$.
Friends don't let friends party NAKED.
Beer. The elusive 5th food group.
I'm not drunk. You're just sober.
